呆呆

 嗯，溝通分析治療法我在暑假無聊時看了一些心理學上的書也有看過
不過。。。我只能說＝　＝　ＣＡＴＣＨ版的人會不會太強
我怎麼都沒想到原來這原理也能這樣套用
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作者  encountert (那些男孩不知道的事)                            看板  CATCH 
 標題  Re: [問題] 對方彷彿對我沒感覺，我接下來應該怎麼 …                      
 時間  Sun Jan 29 14:17:34 2006                                                
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在「溝通分析治療法」中，                                                       
                                                                               
特別有提到一種人與人之間微妙的關係，                                           
                                                                               
那叫做「心理遊戲」，如果應用在男女之間的情感的話，那就是「曖昧」               
                                                                               
當兩個人處在於心理遊戲階段時，                                                 
                                                                               
喜歡用言語來試探對方，喜歡猜測對方的心意，喜歡用若有似無的肢體動作來碰觸。     
                                                                               
                                                                               
當然，男女之間一開始處於心理遊戲階段，是充滿刺激與不安的。                     
                                                                               
套一句老話，那就叫做「愛在曖昧不明時最美」。                                   
                                                                               
                                                                               
但是，兩個人一但處於心理遊戲階段太久時，    

                                                                              
漸漸地，你所感受到的是痛苦、是淚水、是掙扎。                                   
                                                                               
因此要突破這個困境妳有兩條路可以走。                                           
                                                                               
                                                                               
溝通分析法，把人與人之間的關係分為以下幾個階段：                               
                                                                               
退卻-->儀式-->消遣-->活動-->心理遊戲-->親密關係                                
                                                                               
(退卻：隔離自己不與外人聯繫  儀式：打招呼的關係                                
                                                                               
消遣：可以一起吃飯聊天的關係  活動：一起共事的關係)                            
                                                                               
                                                                               
你現在處於「心理遊戲的階段」，因此可以選擇突破心理遊戲，                       
                                                                               
那方法就如你所說的，跟他說清楚，                                               
                                                                               
如果成功的話，那你們就可以進階到「親密關係」的階段，                           
                                                                               
(意指兩個人坦承以對，彼此信任、互相關懷的關係)  

                                                                              
                                                                               
如果失敗的話，那可能就得退回心理遊戲之前的關係(活動、消遣...)                  
                                                                               
可是也可能又回到了原先的心理遊戲階段。                                         
                                                                               
                                                                               
但我要說的是，在溝通分析治療法裡提到，                                         
                                                                               
若兩個人一直「無法」突破心理遊戲，順利進階到「親密關係」，                     
                                                                               
那會對彼此造成很大的傷害，甚至會影響你們之後對愛情的心態和發展。               
                                                                               
                                                                               
或者就如你所說的，不想輕易放棄你喜歡的人，                                     
                                                                               
那麼，你就可以「退」，退回到活動和消遣的階段(就是指兩人的關係像朋友)           
                                                                               
甚至退到「儀式」或「退卻」的階段(那就是指所謂的消失、不聯絡)                   
                                                                               
然後進行變身大改造，以全新的姿態再一次進入心理遊戲的階段，   

                                                                              
然後順利突破，成功進階到「親密關係」。                                         
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
但如果你選擇了說清楚，卻不幸失敗了。且你想要重新開始自己新的生活。             
                                                                               
那麼，要退的話，最好是退回心理遊戲之前的階段(活動、消遣、儀式、退卻)           
                                                                               
我們之所以說為何分手後無法在做「好朋友」，                                     
                                                                               
因為那只是在心理遊戲階段不斷打轉而已，最後換來的是痛苦。                       
                                                                               
                                                                                                                                                          
不好意思，藉由你的案例，                                                       
                                                                               
讓我趁機說一下溝通分析治療法在愛情中的用法。                                   
                                                                               
也希望對你有幫助。         

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